I love my UPS guy because he’s a drug dealer and doesn’t know it. The guy who invented autocorrect has died… restaurant in piece I ordered a club sandwich and im not even a member, I dont know how I keep getting away with it. Rice is good if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something. I asked my North Korean friend how it was over there, he said he couldn’t complain. “Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.” “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” My own favorite has been one that I learned from my grandfather, and I’ve always loved it because 1) it helps me defend my drinking and 2) it just rolls off the tongue: My grandfather demented at 60 and started lathering himself in butter… He went downhill pretty fast after that Blind prostitutes is where I draw the line, you gotta hand it to them.
Everything you say goes straight over their heads. You can say what you want about deaf people too. Not only is my thesaurus terrible, it’s also terrible! The same is true for “explosive diarrhea”.Īccordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected. When you say “poop”, your mouth makes the same motion as your asshole. This is my stepladder… I never knew my real ladder. Here’s to the only B word you should ever call a woman: “Beautiful.” Because bitches love it when you call them beautiful. …If you didn’t understand this one it implies this: if you aren’t getting laid by 10pm it’s probably time to give up and go home…
My Grandpa once told me, “If you’re not in bed by 10 PM, you might as well go home.” I used to think that a vasectomy prevented you from having a kid- Turns out it just changes the color. Now let’s get to the best one-liners, shall we? My advice to you is to bookmark this article right now, read through all of the one-liners below, then come back later and make some flashcards of these later so you can actually commit these to memory. These are the best one-liners ever spoken, passed down through the generations from father to son, and they’re just as funny now as they’ve ever been.
It also shows that you’re able to process contextual information in real-time and add to the conversation, so dropping one-liners is also indicative of being a great conversationalist. Firstly, being able to recall and drop a one-liner in an instant is the sign of a healthy functioning brain. A good one-liner can serve so many purposes I don’t even know where to begin.
0 kommentar(er)
